On holiday with a newborn baby

Summer holidays are looming up and the doubts and perplexities increase: "Where do I go with a newborn baby?", "Is it better to go to the sea or to the mountains?", "What precautions do I have to take?". There is one main rule: newborn babies should be protected from the sun and from the heat. Apart from this the summer season has no side effects and the choice of where you spend your holidays is entirely down to personal preferences. Taking into account, nevertheless, some small renouncements and compromises.

If you have chosen to go to the sea, you will have to do without going to exotic or third world countries, for which specific vaccinations are necessary. Choose instead, if possible, a place with a beautiful rich hinterland of ventilated vegetation, where the child can find a fresh corner during the day. Apart from this, whatever beach you decide to spend your days on, the most important thing to remember is that the children are always protected from the sun and from the risk of scorching. It is necessary therefore to avoid walks and trips to the beach during the hottest hours, between 11 a.m. and 5 p.m. The child must also be placed under a sun umbrella, remembering that even indirect light or sun darkened by the clouds represents a risk. His skin, ultra-delicate during the first few months, must be protected with a specific high-protection cream for children. Finally do not forget his hat, that has to be light-coloured (dark colours attract the sun rays) , in natural fibres and lightweight. To also help the skin to breathe, all the other garments must be in natural fibre (cotton or linen), but a vest and nappy are sufficient when you are at home.

If you choose to go to the mountains, the main point is not to exaggerate: the ideal altitude for smaller children is between 800 and 1,500 meters, with a hilly or low mountain climate, that doesn't ever see particularly rigid temperatures or changes in temperature which are difficult for the organism to cope with. Apart from this, the relaxing, calm and genuine environment, together with the luxuriant and purifying vegetation of the mountains are ideal for the welfare of a newborn child. It is important nevertheless to bear in mind that the benefits offered to a child by the mountains are strictly related to the time spent outdoors. It is therefore recommended to avoid the hottest hours of the day, but also those first thing in the morning or in the evening when the air is still too cool. When there is bad weather it is best to go out less, especially if it is windy. The most suitable clothing is in any case "in layers" because you can undress or dress the child according to the climatic changes. Be careful, to conclude, of the sun in the mountains which is even stronger that that at the sea: a child's baggage must always include a hat and sun cream.

In any case, before choosing the destination of your holidays it is opportune to phone the tourist office to ask what health services are available, where the nearest hospital is and who can be called when needed, the closest pharmacies etc... A final warning: not everything that is relaxing for an adult has the same effect for a child. The changes in climate, new habits, new schedules and even the unusual presence of both parents, represent for an absolute novelty for the child, a change that requires time and patience to be assimilated. The suggestion is therefore to consider that when on holiday with a child "one cannot have everything": try to reconcile your needs with those of the child, you will have to make some renouncement and compromises. Do you love, for instance, travelling, seeing new places, discovering places away from the usual tourist routes? There is no reason "to give this up". Simply avoid long trips and program some walks in quiet places, where the child can have the possibility to enter into contact with the calming powers of nature. And the holiday will be relaxing for everybody.

When he is afraid of strangers

We were almost "jealous" of the smiles that he shone at practically everyone in front of him. Cultivating in silence the suspect that the child didn't feel as attached to us as we were to him. But, just when his sociability doesn't frighten us more, just when we need to go back to work and leave him with a baby sitter or a childcare facility, right now, with a sense of timing that only children succeed in having, something changes. All it takes is to say hello to the next door neighbour or for a friend to visit the house, and the child bursts into a desperate and embarrassing weeping session, difficult to placate. The reason is simple: the child is now "afraid" of strangers. A common condition, natural, even inevitable that all children, even the most open and talkative experience this growth phase. This phenomenon is so ordinary and frequent that paediatricians and psychologists commonly call it "the eighth month's crisis", because it is usually around thi s age that the problem is seen more evidently.

Let's try to understand the reasons. At birth the newborn baby discovers the face of his mother and, from that moment on he will live in almost absolute symbiosis with her, confident in her constant presence and confident in her love. Only during a second phase the child will start to perceive himself as a separate entity and, around the age of eight months, he will become completely conscience of the fact that a stranger is someone different from himself, but also from his own mother, from his own father and from the people that take care of him. Different and, therefore, unknown. This is something which is aggravated by the fact that, following the acquired awareness, each small separation, in this phase, is seen as a form of abandonment: in this context, a stranger who approaches the child to pick him up, represents for a child the realization of the feared separation. In a similar perspective it is natural that the initial instinct to socialize that all newborns have, is destined to turn into distrust , something which in any case is transitory.

The fear of strangers is, in fact, nearly always overcome after the first year, when experience gives the child the possibility to achieve a greater level of autonomy and awareness. A child that is afraid of a stranger should simply, during this phase, be reassured and never forced. This does not mean you have to give up spending a day in company or limiting the occasions for socialization. It means, on the contrary, placing the child in the condition to live through his legitimate distrust with as less uneasiness as possible. And, to do this, we have to do our best to give the child a believable and convincing example. Avoid, for instance, showing him we are suspicious towards others, make sure that friends and relatives often visit the house: a child that lives in an open family, accustomed to people and different situations, will certainly overcome his "crisis" more easily. Let's try, where possible, not to transmit to the child our anxieties and, on the contrary, try to get him used to our absence, going away for a while, initially only for a few minutes, then as time goes by for longer periods, showing we are confident and, at the same time, reassuring the child when he cries on seeing us go. Without ever forgetting, obviously, a child's needs: weeping and tears are the only form of communication that a child has "to ask" for understanding and respect of their serenity.

The journey towards gaining independence

Independence and self confidence. These the borders within which every parent has to succeed in bringing up their child. Once they know how to walk, and increased their abilities of coordination and manipulation, in this phase of life more than in other, a child launches himself towards the world that surrounds him with curiosity and vitality. What he is lacking in is experience and, accordingly, the necessary evaluation of danger. This is where the parents come in, who are required to make a precise effort: to mediate between their fear that the child will hurt himself and the inevitability of new experiences and the need to encourage and support the child.

It is essential to remember that the growth of a child necessarily goes through a mechanism which sees a progressive separation from his parents, thanks to which the child acquires a conscience of himself as a specific and autonomous person. The desire to do things alone, to show himself and others that he is now "grown-up", represents therefore a fundamental phase of his journey towards independence. A journey that his parents always have to encourage. Even the boldest child, one who is always ready to face new obstacles still needs the support and approval of his mother and father in order to mature happily and confidently.

It is important therefore to infuse self-confidence in the child, avoid blocking his attempts to gain independence, praise even his smallest successes. Children tend to give up when they are faced with failures and prohibitions. It is not therefore simply a question of limiting his attempts to grow up, but also about making them safe. Now that the child walks on his own, it is impossible to imagine being able to check his every move: rather than running after him and constantly banning him from doing certain things, it is more constructive, for instance, to remove some heavy or dangerous objects from his reach. There will also be occasions when a child will want to try to do things which we think he is not ready for yet, before stopping him, try and see if you have an alternative. For example: the day will come when the child, imitating older children who are playing with him at the park, will want to try to climb the steps on the slide by himself. We can d ecide to pick him up in our arms and place him on the top, as we have done up to now, or we can stand next to him, to assure him the safety of our presence in case he doesn't manage it, and to help him conquer, step after step, his first success.

There are other occasions in which it will be necessary to win over his natural idleness to help him gain further independence: let's help him, for instance, to learn to eat alone giving him safe child-size accessories ( coloured plates, plastic cutlery, cups with spouts ) and food which is easier to eat (meat balls, cheese, small slices of meat). Let's teach him to clean his teeth, patiently guiding his hand in his movements with our hand, or teach him to pull on his t-shirt without getting his head stuck, transforming these attempts into a game of ability.

Freedom, support and encouragement do not represent, nevertheless, the total absence of rules. A child has to understand that there are some things that he can do (even if he gets it wrong), and others that are forbidden. It will for instance be necessary to explain to him that he is old enough to eat alone, but he can not yet use a knife. When establishing these rules the best allies of all mothers and fathers is patience, common sense and the knowledge of one's child. Every child in fact has his own times and whilst some are particularly precocious, there are others who need more time to learn things. The main point is to make your presence felt without however giving in to the natural instinct of protection. In order for him to learn to eat alone, he will have to get dirty, drop his spoon and tip over his cup of water; to learn to race after a ball, he will inevitably have to fall over and get back up many times. Only by making mistakes once, ten, twenty times can a child increase his ability to face new experiences with confidence. An important conquest. For the child of today and the adult of tomorrow.

Good eating habits

Time, patience and...imagination. These are the essential "ingredients" if you want to teach a child good eating habits. Educating a child correctly in fact means assuring him a healthy growth and a more serene future. But, in order to learn, children need adults to put aside their haste and try to reconcile their times with the needs of a growing child. The challenge is not impossible. All it takes, as always, is to follow one's common sense and some practical suggestions.

According to top dieticians, a correct diet consists in the so-called "food pyramid", a chart which list all the necessary foods, those to be consumed with moderation and the recommended average consumptions for each category of food. At the base of the pyramid and, therefore of a correct diet, there are fruit and vegetables, rich in vitamins and mineral salts and, for this reason, ideal for a child in large quantities. Cereals and carbohydrates (pasta, rice, bread, potatoes) are also essential as they provide the energy a child needs to deal with his daily commitments. In a healthy diet there must also be proteins, found in meat, fish, eggs and vegetables and calcium, essential for the development of the bones and found in milk, yogurt and cheeses. On top of the pyramid there are the seasoning fats to be consumed in limited quantities to avoid an excessive calorie intake.

The correct choice of foods is not nevertheless enough to assure a child has correct eating habits. It is in fact essential that a correct consumption is associated with a suitable subdivision of the meals throughout the day. Breakfast for instance must never be missed. It should be eaten slowly like a proper meal, it must satisfy the child and give him energy: milk or yogurt, dry biscuits, slices of toast, bread with jam and honey, are some of the ideal ingredients to give him. At mid-morning, you can give him some pre-packed snacks, which should not have more than 9 grams of fat per portion. The afternoon snack is the best time to five the child one of his two portions of fruit that must be consumed every day, as also vegetables. Lunches and suppers, should be at the same time every day if possible, and should take into account the nourishment requirements of the child when choosing the food: if a lunch is a little overloaded with fats for instance, the i deal thing is to give the child some fruit and milk for breakfast which will balance this effect, and then in the evening give him little fat and lots of vegetables and fruit.

Don't forget, nevertheless, that every child is different. There are, for instance, children who are big eaters and hardly ever refuse a dish and others that quickly satisfy their own nourishing needs. Educating a child to a healthy diet means knowing how to conjugate the respect of the personal propensities of a child with the need "to channel" his self-regulation within "healthy" limits. A bit of imagination is all it takes: start the lunch with a strategic appetizer such as some bowls of raw vegetables, this will for instance fill the child's stomach before he starts his pasta dish, which should be served in a smaller dish: this reduces the portions but maintains the "full dish" effect. To favour the needs of those who prefer to eat little bit often, you can prepare meatballs or some bits of flan or omelette from the day before to give the child as a snack during the day. The main point is that the snacks do not add onto the meals: if he has had a lot to eat during snack time, just give him a first or second course in the evening, never both. Remember, finally, that filling the fridge or larder up is never a good idea: if the "showcase" is empty, the temptation will undoubtedly be less.